If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
