I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Fuck appropriateness.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
