Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
