I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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