are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Holy sore nipples Batman
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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