He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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