How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize