I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize