my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
