One girl and one boy is just not enough.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
