O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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