oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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