The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
