Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize