what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
