4 words: hood of his car
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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