i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
