So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
