You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize