you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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