it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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