Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
