but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
