based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
