I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
