Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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