please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
