Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
