Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
