considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
