Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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