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At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
