He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
