There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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