im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize