What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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