Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He did a backflip because drugs
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
