shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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