I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
