I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
