i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
