Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize