any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
