And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
