So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
