Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
