i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
