Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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