You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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