she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize