i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
love makes seman taste better
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
