Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
