Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
