She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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