i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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