so explain again why im purple
no
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
