too bad you live with your parents still
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
