I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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