Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
