I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
