Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
