You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
