I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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