cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
