: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
