i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
