you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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