Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize