He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
