yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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