I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
